An adoptive father's response to Imagined Sons

appears on John Foggin's blog here.

Book touring, pleasures and surprises

Before Imagined Sons came out, I'd forgotten how much pleasure it is to take a new book to audiences and feel such gratification in their attention and appreciation. Now I've read from the book in--wait, let's do the t-shirt version:

27/2 Seattle

18/3 London

22/3 Plymouth

28/3 Bradford on Avon

6/4 Cheltenham

11/4 Bristol

26/4 Providence

30/4 Claremont, New Hampshire

1/5 Cambridge, Massachusetts

5/6 Cardiff

7/6 Oxford

Here are the scheduled readings yet to come:

20/6 Reading

26/6 Dylan Thomas Centre, Swansea

4-5/7 Ledbury Poetry Festival

16/7 Nottingham

8/9 Norwich

17/9 Arvon Foundation, Sheepwash

3/10 Swindon Poetry Festival

4/10 Exeter Poetry Festival

13/11 Leicester

26/11 Chicester

So it seems I'm just past the halfway point. I feel the quality of my readings from the book has improved over the ones I've already done, and I've learned a lot about what it takes to be a good reading organizer and host. One organizer failed to mention that I had books available for sale, but nearly all of the others have given me moving introductions and done their utmost to promote sales. Dennis Harrison at The Albion Beatnik Bookshop in Oxford even asked what kind of wine I liked so he could get some in!

One thing I hadn't expected was how many people approach me or buy the book because they or someone they know is an adoptee, adoptive parent, or birth parent. People want to tell me their stories, some right then, some later via email or Facebook, about their own adoption experiences. Sometimes the stories are sad ones, such as women being forced to give up their babies, while others are heartening tales of reunions of birth parent and surrendered child. If I'm just halfway through, and the reviews are just beginning to appear, I have many more stories yet to hear.

 

 

 

Adoption birthdays

Today's my adoption birthday, the day my adoptive parents picked me up from the hospital and took me into their home. It often feels more important than my "real" birthday, as I think of the creative, loving environment I was brought up in and credit it for what I value most in myself. 

My new book, Imagined Sons, focuses on my other position in the "adoption triangle," the birthmother. I've given five readings from the book now, and at each one someone asks whether I've searched for my son. 

I finally managed to start the process last September. I learned that the agency I surrendered my son through had been absorbed into another agency and with some research discovered the right person to contact. We swapped emails, and she said I should get on the Illinois adoption registry and in the meantime she'd send me a letter. 

The letter never arrived. It says something about the degree of my fear that only yesterday, over six months after the initial exchange of emails, that I wrote again to say so. I received a prompt response saying the letter would be sent out at once (with apologies for the lapse), and I downloaded the forms I need to fill out to join the Illinois adoption registry. I'll fill them out this weekend and post them next week. 

So I wonder what day my son's adoption birthday is. His birthday's September 11th, but I know he was briefly in foster care before being adopted, so I have no idea what his adoption birthday would be. If I'd known my parents wouldn't make it to their seventies, I would have begun this search much earlier. All I can do now is remember today, remember them, and be oh so grateful I had them as long as I did.

My Adoption Birthday

This is a picture of me with my parents, Henry and Bernadine Etter, the day I was adopted, exactly two weeks after I was born. We always referred to today as my adoption birthday.

This adoption birthday is my first without them, without their unconditional, boundless love, and I miss them desperately.

Another superlative review of The Son

appears on Alan Baker's "Litterbug" blog, appropriately in time for National Adoption Week here in the UK.

Adoption and Poetry

My entry for the Poets on Adoption blog curated by Eileen R. Tabios is now up.

Poets on Adoption

Eileen Tabios has begun a blogzine, Poets on Adoption, in which poets affected by adoption in some way talk about their adoption experience and its influence on their poetry. I'll be contributing soon, talking about the curious position of being both adoptee and birthmother and presumably also about Imagined Sons, my manuscript that explores my consciousness as a birthmother.

i.m. Katelyn Etter, 1998-

My niece Katelyn Etter is being adopted, and those adopting her have cut off all contact with her family but written letters--a most unnatural form of communication for her as she saw her grandparents, aunts, brothers, and cousins all the time. We're that sort of nourishing family, and I wish Katie's potential parents could see that.

I miss her so much.