Sunday 21 August 2011

Requiescat in Pace Scott Wannberg, 20 February 1953-20 August 2011


I met Scott early in my time in Los Angeles in the late 'eighties, often seeing him at poetry readings and occasionally sharing the bill, and was delighted when he found me on Facebook a while back. From that point on he became part of my daily consciousness with his messages, posts and poems. I will miss his easy affection, compassionate generosity, and irrepressible spirit.

Thursday 18 August 2011

Requiescat in Pace Colin Harvey, 1960-2011

I am saddened to learn of the death of my former student and science-fiction author Colin Harvey. My condolences go out to his family and friends, and I am most sorry I will not be able to make it back to England in time for his funeral next Friday, 27 August.


Wednesday 10 August 2011

Cooking for One

Since I arrived at the family home on the first of August, I have spent hours each day going through my parents' papers, and it's excruciating to see this stuff of lives knowing the lives it accompanied are gone. I've read truly countless bills and financial statements, but I've also come across love letters, a draft notice, an impressive collection of 60s Democrat memorabilia, old photos of people I don't recognize, loose bits and bobs, and the letters I sent my parents over the years, especially in the days before email.

One of my sisters told me there was more cat food in the trunk of my mother's car, and within this hour I encountered another motley array, recent purchases including some books, catnip, Christmas paper plates and wrapping paper, cat food and a box of instant amaretto cappuccino sachets. I expect the latter was for me and my expected visit later this month, as she knew I loved amaretto and had bought me Amaretto di Saronno as a Christmas present on at least one occasion, and on several visits home I'd bought the makings for amaretto sours and made them for my parents and I.

More sad were some of the books. There were a couple novels, apparently picked up secondhand, as well as a few nonfiction titles: the first I saw were Cooking for One and Facing Loneliness. My mother has struggled on her own since my father died in March 2009, and these titles, and, found a few minutes later, Healing Grief, struck me hard with the pain of her sorrow. I dearly wish I could have done more to mitigate it.

Monday 8 August 2011

Screams for my mother

Written on the flight from London to Chicago


NO NO NO NO NO NO NO


COME BACK COME BACK COME BACK COME BACK


IT WAS A COLONOSCOPY--WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE CODED AT THE BEGINNING OF THE PROCEDURE?


WHO WERE THE TWO DOCTORS WHO TURNED HER AWAY, SAYING IT WAS STOMACH FLU? GIVE ME THEIR NAMES


NO YOU CAN'T YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME HERE ALL ALONE


WE WERE SUPPOSED TO HAVE ANOTHER VISIT WE WERE SUPPOSED TO HAVE THREE WEEKS TOGETHER


YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO LIVE FOREVER



Henry Etter and Bernadine Meeker, 1965


The year before they married