Saturday, 31 December 2011

Good-bye, Annus Horribilis

The year began well: in February I brought out my second book of poems, Divining for Starters, and in April I moved in with my boyfriend, while continuing to write and teach (two of my greatest pleasures). But on 29 July my mother, my dearest friend, died too soon, most suddenly and unexpectedly, and August became the worst month of my life, full of family slights and betrayals alongside sorting through my parents' belongings and finances and suffering an incredible grief. In the last month I've started to feel a little better, feel myself inside a slightly lesser mourning, but it's hard to imagine what would make the next year worthwhile. I plan to read and write more, to try to write better, to continue reviewing and publishing, but I'm not excited by these prospects the way I used to be. I am waiting to be excited, I think. I am hoping and watching. And remembering my parents in their stunning absence.

1 comment:

  1. Stephen Wainman10:21 am

    I'd like to extend sympathy for your very painful year, Carrie; and to just say that you are in the position of giving so much through your poetry - there are many, many people out there who like me look forward to reading your new work.

    For a new start for the new year, I'd like to recommend a great longer poem - Derek Walcott's Omeros. Re-reading it is giving me inspiration, it's moving, beautiful, funny and sad. Reading something much longer gives a sense of momentum and the added depth of entering a complex world. It's very interesting & cheering!